Ultra Right Beer: A Satirical Look at Alright's Ultra-Conservative Brew

Alright, buckle up snowflakes, it’s time for the Woke-o-meter reading! On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “Tucker Carlson’s wet dream” and 10 being “Bernie Sanders in a Che Guevara t-shirt”, this image scores a solid…

1/10 - Ultra Right Beer: So Conservative It Makes Ronald Reagan Look Like a Communist

Holy stars and stripes, Batman! This “Conservative Dad’s Ultra Right Beer” is about as woke as a coma patient at a MAGA rally. It’s so right-wing, I’m surprised the cans don’t come with a complimentary tiki torch and a lifetime subscription to Fox News.

Let’s break down this masterpiece of ‘Murican marketing:

1. “100% Woke-Free” - Because nothing says “I’m secure in my beliefs” like being terrified of basic human empathy.
2. “4.8% ABV” - Just enough alcohol to make you forget about those pesky civil rights.
3. “Only 4 Ingredients” - Water, hops, barley, and a dash of good ol’ fashioned xenophobia.

And the cherry on top? They won’t even ship to certain states. Looks like some parts of America aren’t American enough for this liquid freedom!

Remember folks, nothing says “I love my country” quite like chugging beer that’s more concerned with owning the libs than actually tasting good. Now excuse me while I go salute my beer can and shed a single, patriotic tear.