Bess Levin's Scathing Take on American Politics: The Woke-o-Meter's Least Exciting Ride

Oh boy, buckle up buttercup, we’re about to dive into the cesspool of American politics! On the woke-o-meter, I’d give this Vanity Fair article a solid 3/10. Why so low, you ask? Well, they’re trying to be edgy by pointing out the absurdity of voters thinking Trump is better for democracy, but they’re still playing it safer than a nun at a heavy metal concert.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

1. They use the phrase “mind-boggling,” which is about as spicy as mayonnaise on white bread.
2. They’re still calling it an “insurrection” instead of “Grandpa’s Guided Tour of the Capitol.”
3. The author, Bess Levin, probably thinks she’s being daring, but she’s about as controversial as a pair of beige slacks at a retirement home.

Now, if they really wanted to crank up the woke factor, they could’ve titled it:

“Democracy’s Death Match: Spray-Tan Mussolini vs. Sleepy Joe - Who Will Bore Us to Extinction First?”

But no, they played it safe. So safe, in fact, that I’m surprised they didn’t include a trigger warning for potentially offensive political content.

Remember folks, in the grand scheme of things, choosing between these two is like picking which STD you’d prefer - either way, you’re screwed!